#9 Jan 2, 2026
A Girl Dressed Like A Van Gogh Painting

I was at the gym to take out my anger again. On my drive over I screamed several times loudly. I ran 7 miles. On the treadmills in front of me their was a gorgeous girl in a yellow tank top and black sweatpants with a big blue waistband. I desperately wanted to talk to her and told myself repeatedly I would regret it if I didn’t. 10 minutes go by. I go to the locker room to change clothes. I smelled pretty bad after running. After freshening up a bit and washing my hands three times to bide time, I went back out. I wiped my face off with another antibacterial wipe. I stood by a treadmill for a few minutes before “Hi, I like the blue and yellow, they remind me of a van Gogh painting.” She takes her earbuds out, I say it again. She smiled and put her headphones back in. I walked away and left. Even though she was clearly uninterested, I’m happy I had enough courage to give her a genuine compliment. It made her happy, and that made me happy too. Happy new year everyone.

Salty Salutations,
from Captain Seawater

#8 Dec 31, 2025
Blood Running Down My Legs

Most things I fail to do are because I'm scared, not a lack of desire. I deeply desire to have sex, to kiss someone. I desire and enjoy warm liquid surrounding my body. Blood is a warm liquid. I dream of warm blood flowing down my legs. Other times I imagine blood flowing down the walls of my bedroom. I'm terrified of the pain that may ensue from cutting myself. Public pressure is the only wall standing in between me and doing dangerous things to myself in public. It prevents me from ruining my life even more then I already do by confining my self destruction to my home. This is why I refuse to take a job that offers working from home. It would lead to nothing but my expedient ruin. While public pressure serves a good in this case, it also prevents people from doing things which would be worthwhile for them in fear of being outcast from society.

These thoughts came to me last night after reading through almost the entirety of the blog by Chesca

Salty Salutations,
from Captain Seawater

#7 Dec 18, 2025
A Girl In Yellow and Black At The Gym

I went to the gym to take out my overflowing anger on the treadmill. While running the most beautiful girl I had seen in years started riding a stationary bike in front of me. She was wearing a yellow shirt and black yoga pants, the same colors as the yellow shirt and black shorts I wear every time I’ve gone to the gym for over a year. She set her brown and yellow winter coat, the colors of Hufflepuff on the handlebars.

The entire time I was running, I was mesmerized and became determined to talk to her. When I was at 4.8 miles she began to put on her jacket. I stopped, ran up to her and said “I like the yellow, it looks good on you. It’s my favorite color actually, you wear it well.” She grew a big smile on her face and I walked away. I got my backpack from the locker room and left.

While sitting in my car I saw her walk out. I thought about getting out to go say more but never did. I justify it by saying it was after dark, she was outside and alone. Deep down it’s because I was too scared. I’m getting better at talking to strangers but am still scared of rejection. I’m too scared to ask someone on a date. That’s my next step.

Salty Salutations,
from Captain Seawater

#6 Nov 17, 2025
Blocking a Girl Who Wanted to Hookup

Last night she texted me "wyd", I didn't respond.

This morning I texted her "gm" (good morning). She responded with "gm" and a 7 second video of her in the shower. Starting at her boobs and panning down to her vagina. This was escalating too quickly, I had to end it.

I texted, "to answer your question from last night, giving myself a (insert fetish here). I like the pain and humiliation of them. As beautiful as you are, this is getting to risky and I have to end it. I hope you find someone who can fulfill your needs better then I can. Goodbye."

I also sent a photo of myself in said (insert fetish here) along with that last one.

I quickly masturbated, felt terrible after doing so, and because I felt terrible blocked the number and deleted the conversation.

Salty Salutations,
from Captain Seawater

#5 Nov 10, 2025
Talking To Girls - Two Girls At Bible Study

A few minutes ago I was sitting in the campus cafateria after work. I was listening to two girls at a table nearby have bible study together. One of them was really cute with short black hair, a striped sweater and gentle smile. I was thinking about what my friend Tem and I talked about in Kentucky and I I made it my goal this morning to talk to at least one stranger today. I was sitting there listening to them talk about different chapters of the bible for about 20 minutes. I kept telling myself to just do it. I took my coat off, walked to the bathroom and tried to hype myself up. I walked back to my table and said nothing. A few minutes later my friend Santiago and his girlfriend showed up. It was great to see him. He gave me the confidence to do it. After saying talking to Santiago, I put my coat on, walked past the 2 girls table and said "Hi." I asked if they were reading any part particular of the bible or if they were flipping through? They said they were reading through the book of Acts. The one friend was a bit aggressive so I left after that, but the cute one with short black hair smiled at me, she seemed so nice and if I see her on campus again I'd be happy to talk to her.

Salty Salutations,
from Captain Seawater

#4 Oct 26, 2025
Meeting Girls at the Parthenon

On the drive from Kentucky to Tennessee my friend and I talked a lot about how I’m terrified of talking to girls and asking them out on a date, even though what I want more then anything is to be in a relationship with a beautiful woman. By the time we arrived in Nashville it was dark out, but being a Friday night he was very insistent we go downtown and walk around. He didn’t tell me where we were headed but looked at his map frequently to make sure we were going where he wanted. After forty minutes of walking we saw the bright glow of neon lights as thousands of drunk young adults stumbled from club to club.

He asked me what my intentions for the night were, his being that he wanted to talk to at least three strangers. Before entering the fray he had us sit down and asked multiple times if I wanted to turn back. I declined. He encouraged me to choose an intention that involved talking with woman. Being terrified I made the goal of talking to just one. I didn’t like what I was wearing. I don’t like noises or crowded groups of people. The woman there were mostly drunk and dressed in the most scandalous clothing I had ever seen. I was petrified. By the end of the night my friend had said something to over a dozen people including several extremely sexy girls. I had spoken to exactly zero.

I was thinking about it before bed and told him tomorrow I want to try again. The next morning my friend was still asleep so I went to breakfast at the hotel alone. A son was talking to his mother frantically at the table next to me. I was sitting there for twenty minutes trying to think of something to say to them. Eventually they brought up generational differences and got the years wrong for Gen Z. I checked Google and as I was walking past their table stopped to correct them. We then talked about how they’re from New York but have been to Chicago for a wedding. They were thinking of driving to Chattanooga for the last part of their trip. I’m so happy I talked to them.

A few hours later we met my sister and her daughter for lunch. We got lost along the way and arrived an hour late. My sister didn’t mind, it just gave her daughter plenty of time to fill out the kids menu. After lunch the four of us drove to Centennial Park to see a replica of the ancient Greek Parthenon. Upon arrival my friend got stopped by some evangelists so I ran back towards the parking lot to find my sister. On my way I saw two girls struggling to take a selfie of themselves with the Parthenon in the background. I asked if they wanted me to take their photo. They smiled and said that would be amazing. I took several and was joyously happy the rest of the day that I talked to them. They were insanely hot.

I also saw two girls with an old digital camera taking photos of the ceiling but I was too scared to talk to them. A bit later we were trying to get a photo of all four of us in front of the building, My friend and sister didn’t want to be rude asking strangers to do it so I stepped out and asked a group of girls if they would take it for us. They took some great photos of us. I’m really glad I talked to them too.

Salty Salutations,
from Captain Seawater

#3 Oct 17, 2025
I Talked To A Beuatiful Girl and It Didn't Kill Me

I was feeling bummed out today. Depressed again about my social anxiety. I went to help my parents volunteer at a church event and saw a cute girl there. She was wearing all black, a studded black belt and she had long straight sexy black hair. I was too nervous to say anything more then a meek “hi.” I started panicking so I left and went to the gym. About 2 hours later I went back to help my parents clean up. I saw the same girl and started talking to her, joking around like I would with coworkers or friends. It was fine. I asked her a question and found out she was too young for me to date anyway, but it was fine. I have a 100% answer. I don’t have to sit wondering “what if?” And I talked to her, she was so beautiful, so attractive, but she didn’t turn me to stone anymore. I’m a lot happier tonight because of it.

Salty Salutations,
Your Captain, SS

#2 Sep 9, 2025
A Life Changing Experience At Walmart

I had to run over to Walmart this morning to get some Vitamin C. I have a deficiency, and it’s too expensive at CVS. I found a parking spot in the first row by the doors, score! Their was a display of Vitamin C immediately inside the front entrance, double score! I went to go to the self serve checkouts and immediately regretted it as I noticed the entire section was packed to the gills with lines. On my way I had walked past cashiers with no lines and their lights on, a foreign concept for me. As someone who came of age in the time of self service, I have never ever in my entire life checked out with a cashier on my own unless their were no other options.

I walked back to one of the cashiers and asked if she was open? She asked me how I was doing, I said “good, just that please.” She put my item in the bag, told me my total was $4.32 and said “have a nice day.” before I said “you too, thanks.” as I left.

It’s astonishing that I’ve become so deprived of human connection, that the 30 second interaction with her made my entire day. I had a huge grin on my face as I walked out and am sincerely so elated right now because of it. And for the record, I’m always checking out with cashiers now.

Salty Salutations,
Your Captain, SS

#1 Sep 8, 2025
Desperate For A Girlfriend – Terrified To Ask

I’m terrified of talking to girls, but I want nothing more then to have a girlfriend. The more attracted I am to them, the more terrifying they become.

I’m 24. I work at the largest community college in my state. I saw a girl the other day when I was walking in. From a distance I loved her long blonde hair and her water bottle with a copy of the painting Starry Night on it. She held the door for me, and then the next one. She looked at me and smiled.

I love Starry Night, I love Van Gogh’s paintings. As I was walking up to her I was thinking I should say, “I like your water bottle by the way. I used to hate his paintings, but then I read his biography a few months ago and it totally changed my mind. Would you like to get coffee sometime?” But I stayed silent and I’ve been regretting it all week.

It would have been so easy I tell myself. This was a perfect opportunity, it fell into my lap and I failed. If I don’t get a girlfriend, or ever get married, or start a family, I’m going to be miserable for the rest of my life. All of these things are things I desire more then anything else on earth. More then traveling, more then having a good job, or going to any museum I could ever think of.

I’ve never been on a date. I’ve never kissed anyone and never had s*x. I’m not abstaining from anything, I wouldn’t hesitate at all to do any or all of these things if given the opportunity.

If you live in the Chicagoland area (I’m close to Naperville), please feel free to reach out through my guestbook. I’d be happy to get in touch. Or if you have any suggestions on how to remedy this situation, please let me know. I know for a lot of guys this is trivial, it should be so easy, but for me it’s not, and I hate myself for it.

Salty Salutations,
Your Captain, SS